KICK (Hindi), Director: Sajid Nadiadwala, Genre: Action, Thriller, Comedy, Cast: Salman Khan, Jacqueline Fernandez, Randeep Hooda, Nargis Fakhri, Nawazuddin Siddiqui.

In the first half, you see Salman Khan as Devi (meaning Goddess). Post-interval, he becomes Devil. Remember Fanaa, wherein Aamir Khan is split into two stories – first as a romantic tourist guide and then as a terrorist.

The Khans are thus the tragedies of their own fates – Salman, Aamir, Shahrukh and Saif – all have created such huge images of themselves that the moment they appear loose in the frames, they are but naturally laughed at.

Wasn’t Sajid Nadiadwala doing fine simply as a producer? Why did he get into the business of direction? Debuting as a director in 2014 requires some tough skills, and you can’t get away with just having a Khan in the lead.

Indian audience is no fool, whom you show some foreign locations and stunts as cheap as security guards carrying axe to protect hundreds of thousands of crores doomed to be looted. Salman’s role as Hrithik Roshan’s Krrish-inspired masked samaritan required an original screenplay that is so missing.

Randeep Hooda (a cop on chase) and Nawazuddin Siddiqui (a criminal) could have swapped roles for better screen presence, and Nargis Fakhri’s item number could well have been left to Jacqueline Fernandez.

Saurabh Shukla, a very respected name in Bollywood, again fails to impress as a diplomat. Mithun Chakraborty as Salman’s dad and Archna Puran Singh as the hero’s mother spoil their characters by over acting.

People say the Khan films, particularly of this Khan – Salman – is for die-hard fans. But don’t such films drive the blind-folded movie goers away, or do they deserve only such stuff.

In Kick, Salman is given a role wherein he has quit dozens of jobs for they didn’t give him kick. Therefore, he does whatever, in the movie, that stimulates him, and all such things come to be risky encounters.

The songs of ‘Kick’ have been chart busters since the past few weeks. ‘Jumme Ki Raat’ and ‘Yaar Na Miley’ are foot tapping numbers and ‘Hangover’ is a slow number belted by Salman Khan himself. The music is by Himmesh Reshamiyah, Meet Bros Anjjan and Yo Yo Honey Singh.

Albert Einstien said, “The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.” And Salman takes a cue from the quote, by beating people sitting at a restaurant for they do not stop eve-teasers in their vicinity. And this earns him a psychiatrist lover Jacqueline Fernandez who rightly saves Salman’s name as “Headache” in her phone’s contact list.

But why are we puzzle-solving Salman and his Kick when he himself boasts in this Eid release: “Mere baare mein itna mat socho. Mai dil mein aata hoon, samajh mein nahi“.