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The Little Black Dress

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“The greatest prison people live in, is the fear of what other people think.”

Have been constantly torn by mine own insecurities and inhibitions of being called a “fat girl.”

Hearing a friend say, “I’m so fat” when they’re three times smaller than you are, and having to say, “No you’re not” and stand there awkwardly.

Worrying about what people are laughing at when walking behind you. Is it me? Are they laughing at how tight my clothes are? My size? What is it?

Worrying about whether or not you can even fit through a tight space.

Being fat gives you more than just physical health problems like diabetes or heart disease. Being fat gives you so many mental problems as well.

Being fat gives you social anxiety. It’s honestly the worst thing when you walk into a room and you assume everyone’s staring at you because of your size. You see clothes on a shelf or a thin girl wearing them and wish you could wear them, but you know you’d look like a blown up plastic bag in it.

Being fat is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. When you’re overweight people don’t see you. They see a shell of you. Unlike some insecurities such as acne, or a scar, you can’t cover this one up. You have to wear it out for the entire world to see. When people see you, they don’t see the bright shining personality that lies within you. They see your body.

Being fat is like wearing a punching bag.

You hear things. Things like:

You’ve got such a beautiful face.

You’d be so much prettier if you lost weight.

You’re really pretty; think of how much prettier you’ll be when you lose weight.

Even when people are attempting to “build” your confidence, they’re tearing you down at the same time. It’s almost impossible to ever feel truly beautiful. You dress your best, do the greatest makeup look you could imagine, and then you take one last good look in the mirror and think of the way the outfit hugs onto your rolls, or how your double chin is showing too much. No amount of makeup or clothing can hide your biggest flaw and it’s terrifying.

You try every single diet on the web, low calories, working out, you try all the fancy diets, and eventually you even resort to starving. But unfortunately you need food to live.

People think that because you’re overweight it means that you don’t have an eating disorder. But let me tell you, that’s far from the truth. When you’re overweight you get so desperate to lose it that you actually think of starving yourself

BUT yesterday with the support of my ever loving daughter, I let go of my inhibitions and fears and wore a LBD, a Little Black Dress… after eons to a public place and loved all the attention it got since opinions of others did not matter…Only my opinion matters and I am loving it. ❤